On 4th January 2016 I posted a blog on Inspiring Women, I listed my New Years Resolutions. Today, two years on it is the first time I have looked back on them. Such is the ineffectiveness of New Year’s Resolutions for the majority of us who chose to make them. I listed 8 resolutions as follows:

  • Become a dress size 14
  • Do a chin up (!!)
  • Row 2000 metres in under 7 minutes 30 seconds
  • Complete a swimming challenge
  • Remember my godson’s birthday and send him a card and present!
  • Write my book
  • Launch ‘IW Wear’
  • Be happy with my everyday

Of the 8 I have fully achieved one, partially achieved two, got close to another. Of the other four? Not even close. Not a very good return, my KPI’s flagging up a lot of red on my RAG scale evaluation. Why do we continue to make these resolutions? Because at the time of writing the list it makes us feel better. It makes us feel smug and wholesome that we are going to be this amazing, thin being who does chin up’s for fun. The last time I did a chin up in 2010 I pulled an abdominal muscle. At the time of writing we really believe we will be this person and celebrate our own success for a few hours. It’s a bit like on a Friday evening deciding that on Monday we will no longer eat chocolate, crisps, bread, sweets, ready meals or pizza. We feel so impressed with the soon to be new self we are going to be that it doesn’t matter that we spend all weekend eating chocolate, crisps, bread, sweets, ready meals and pizza. It is completely fine because on Monday we will be good. And then Monday happens. We do well until about 11am.

You will note the continuing swimming theme. For someone who hates swimming, can’t swim very well, does not like putting her head in the water I spend a great deal of time thinking about it. However, I have made some progress at last…of sorts. I have arranged with a friend to go swimming together on Tuesday so by the time of my next blog I will be able to talk about my own personal experience of swimming rather than the notion of swimming. And my 2016 resolution will finally be achieved over two years on. Just going swimming is a challenge for me.

How is Baby Bear I hear you ask? I obviously can’t actually hear you ask but I am going to tell you anyway. Today, Baby Bear is approximately half an unborn life old; twenty weeks today. I think that means I can eat some cake to celebrate. It also means that myself and J will hopefully be able to find out the gender of the baby at our next scan. We are going to find out; I am looking forward, in this modern era of non-gender to being able know whether Baby Bear is a boy or a girl. Even Jeff the fern has a gender, he is definitely a he whether he likes it or not. He has spent Christmas dressed up with lights and decorations and has taken on a second identity as a Christmas Tree; still a male Christmas tree. He has done a great job but I think he is looking forward to the 6th when his decorations can go in to storage for another year.

This year my New Years Resolutions will not be going in to storage along with the Christmas decorations, as they so often do. Why? Because I am not making any. I am starting a New Years Revolution. No more Resolutions. I would rather make myself feel better by my actions rather than my lists of what might happen tomorrow or Monday or next week, month or year.

Finally, as I know you are all on the edge of your seat eager to find out I will update you on my frequency of weeing. I have established that I have something called Stress Incontinence. The number of times I am being sick, which previously caused unintentional weeing has reduced dramatically however over the last few weeks just in case my body was missing stress I have picked up a pretty horrible cough and cold. Coughing and sneezing fits trigger stress incontinence. I have been coughing and sneezing a lot. I am back on the Tena Lady. Enough said.